Thursday, April 12, 2012

Good morning crew,

This weekend is promotion testing at the school and I will be assisting. It is usually a four or five hour affair, but I don't mind sacrificing my Saturday too much, first because the master usually throws me a few sawbucks for the effort, but mostly because I enjoy seeing the kids demonstrating what I have spent the last two months drilling into their sieve-like, little heads.

One little guy that I am particularly proud of actually cried on his first day because he was scared of me, but you should see him throwing kicks around like a pro and screaming his fool head off now. This Saturday will be his first promotion test and I am eager to see if his new-found confidence will hold up when the dojang is packed full of parents and family, all watching him perform.

Then I will take the day's hard-earned cash and take the girlfriend out for, oh, maybe two rounds of drinks (I am definitely not doing this to get rich). That is if she still remembers me. Since she has been sick, and considering our conflicting schedules, I haven't seen her in about ten days.

It might not be an ideal arrangement, but with an average of about three dates per month it is definitely a cheap relationship.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"On Saturday the Empire State Building went dark for an hour to draw attention to climate change. Of course, 10 endangered eagles then crashed into the building." -Jimmy Fallon

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"China has overtaken the United States as the world's biggest food and grocery market. That means they buy and consume more food than we do. Which ? when you think about it ? of course they do. A half hour after they eat, they're hungry again. It's Chinese food." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"Last night Melissa Gilbert suffered a concussion on 'Dancing With the Stars.' It's the first time anyone connected with that show has actually seen stars." -Conan O'Brien

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Our family took shelter in the basement after hearing a tornado warning. My husband told everyone to stay put while he got his cell phone out of the car, in case the lines went dead.

He didn't return for the longest time, so I went looking for him. I was upstairs calling his name, when I heard our answering machine click on.

"Hi," a voice said. "This is Dad. I'm locked out of the house."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A teacher was finishing up a lesson on the joys of discovery and the importance of curiosity. "Where would we be today," she asked, "if no one had ever been curious?"

One child quietly spoke up from the back of the room. "Still in the Garden of Eden?"