Thursday, July 26, 2012

Good morning crew,

Golf tomorrow. I haven't played golf in three years, maybe more, but apparently the only way old Mason can get out of the house anymore is by skipping work and playing golf. So since we haven't seen each other since the wedding he recruited me to play.

Now, at my best I stink at golf, and after three years I'll be surprised if I can even hit the ball. That means my primary function tomorrow will be to drink beer in a golf cart. And since we'll be starting at 10 a.m. It is going to be a long day.

Enjoy your weekend. I'll let you know if I end up driving my cart into a water hazard on Monday.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Olympics can inspire American kids to get active. Or it can inspire American kids to sit on the couch and watch the Olympics." -Conan O'Brien

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"A chef from McDonald's just revealed the recipe to the Big Mac's secret sauce. Even more surprising ? he also revealed the McRib's secret meat." -Jimmy Fallon

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"The NBA will start advertising on player uniforms. The Celtics will be the Boston Market Celtics. Denver, they will be the Chicken McNuggets." -Jimmy Kimmel

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Duck decoys, fishing rods, boots -- outdoor gear of all kinds was piled high in the garage. One day I found my wife staring at the mess. "I hope I die first, so I don't have to get rid of all this," she sighed.

"Look on the bright side," I suggested. "If I go first, you can put an ad in the paper. When all the men come by to check out the stuff, you can pick out a replacement for me."

Still staring at the pile, she said, "Nah. Whoever would want all this stuff wouldn't be my type."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
"Do you remember first meeting your wife?"

"Sure, I found Jill lying face down in the gutter. I lifted her to her feet and promised her that if she agreed to marry me, she would begin a new life and I'd never allow her near the gutter again."

"Wow, what an incredible story! I hope she appreciates what you did for her."

"Not really. Even though she stunk at it, Jill hated to give up bowling."