Monday, August 18, 2014

Good morning crew,

Is it Monday already? It seems like just a couple days ago it was Friday. What a weekend! Well, who needs relaxation anyway? I think I'm going to go fix myself a cup of jo while you get started on some laughs.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"This isn't good. The Secret Service just arrested 13 people in New Jersey who were making counterfeit money. Which got worse when the counterfeiters said, 'Are you sure this isn't something a seven-dollar bill can't get me out of?'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"Kobe Bryant and Nike have teamed up to make a Beethoven-themed sneaker. They're motto is 'Play basketball like an 18th century deaf German.'" -Conan O'Brien

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"Last week it was revealed the CIA has been spying on the Senate Intelligence Committee, which is the committee that's supposed to supervise the CIA. Who do these people think they are? Facebook?" -Jimmy Kimmel

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A small boy was looking at the red ripe tomatoes growing in the farmer's garden. "I'll give you my two pennies for that tomato," said the boy pointing to a beautiful, large, ripe fruit hanging on the vine.

"No," said the farmer, "I get a dime for a tomato like that one."

The small boy pointed to a smaller green one, "Will you take two pennies for that one?"

"Yes," replied the farmer, "I'll give you that one for two cents."

"OK," said the lad, sealing the deal by putting the coins in the farmer's hand, "I'll pick it up in about a week."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Two buffalo were standing on the range when a passing tourist said, "Those are the mangiest, scroungiest, most moth-eaten, miserable beasts I have ever seen."

One of the buffalo turned to the other and said, "You know, I think I just heard a discouraging word."