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Clean Laffs - Innsbruck.
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Friday, November 4, 2016
Good morning crew,
After being forced to abandon the Oktoberfest in Munich early, we hopped a commuter train to take us from the Theresienwiese (fairground) back to the downtown area where the bus was waiting. Then we were all herded back onto the coach, a few of us swaying slightly, for a three hour jaunt over the border into Austria and our next destination, a town called Innsbruck.
Innsbruck is known as the Capital of the Alps. It is the capital city of the Austrian state of Tyrol and it is nestled in the Inn Valley, surrounded by the Karwendel mountain range which is part of the Eastern Alps. The location is picturesque to say the least.
Most of Innsbruck looks like a modern city, however the original city center is still completely intact and functional. The Oldtown (or Altstadt) is not very big, but when you walk through the gate it is like stepping back in time 500 years (if Innsbruck had a McDonalds in the 1500s). The streets are narrow and cobblestoned and the buildings all have that classic Austrian Renaissance and Gothic style.
The main street, or city square, is the big attraction. That is where the famous Goldenes Dachl (or Golden Roof) is located as well as the Imperial Church. We had a very enjoyable time wandering up and down the streets and peeking into restaurants and storefronts. We even got to go into the big Swarovski Crystal store they have right on the main square.
But like with most of our stops we barely got a good look at the city before we were being herded back onto that Godforsaken bus. Munich had taken up a big portion of the day and we still had to get to that night's hotel.
The hotel we were staying at is in a little town called Matrei about 15 or 16 miles south of Innsbruck. But this time we were in luck because the next day there was an optional excursion to go see the Linderhof Palace back over the border in Germany, which was to take all day. That meant that we were staying two nights in Matrei and didn't have to be up at 5:30 in the morning to pack.
The wife and I, as well as the wife's parents and several other people from our group, had no intention on spending another six hours round trip on the bus to spend 90 minutes looking at a castle, no matter how opulent, so our plan was to hop a train and spend a leisurely day really getting to know Innsbruck.
I'll tell you about that adventure next time.
Laugh it up,
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"The 2016 presidential election is in exactly one week! One weak Republican, and one weak Democrat." -Seth Meyers
"I saw a new study that says that eating over 1,500 pieces of candy corn could actually kill you. Which shouldn't be a problem since the current record for eating a piece of candy corn is two." -Jimmy Fallon
"It was National Stress Awareness day today and due to the election, plenty of people have something to be stressed about. In fact, when asked on a scale of one to 10 how stressed they are right now, most voters punched the pollster in the face." -James Corden
A Swiss guy in New York is looking for directions, so he pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting.
"Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks.
The two Americans just stare at him.
"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" he tries. The two continue to stare.
"Parlare Italiano?" No response.
"Hablan ustedes Espanol?" Still nothing.
The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first American turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language."
"Why?" says the other. "That guy knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Little Johnny's mother overheard him reciting his homework: "Two plus two, the son of a bitch is four; four plus four, the son of a bitch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bitch..."
"Johnny!" shouted his mother. "Watch your language! You're not allowed to use those kinds of words."
"But, Mom," replied the boy, "that's what the teacher taught us, and she said to recite it out loud till we learned it."
Next day Johnny's mother called the teacher to complain. "Oh, heavens," said the teacher. "That's not what I taught them. They're supposed to say, 'Two plus two, the sum of which is four.'"
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