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Monday, February 14, 2011

Good morning crew,

If you hadn't noticed by the calendar, today is Valentine's
Day. I know, I know...everybody is talking about Valentine's
Day today, but there's one important difference here. I'm
funny.

Most of the Western world recognizes today as a special time
for romance, but in recent years there have been a lot of
Valentine's Day detractors - folks who subscribe to modern
taboos against gender profiling and backlashing against what
has come to be known as "Hallmark Holidays." Sounds like a
convenient excuse to avoid a little extra effort to me.

I'm one of those anachronistic people who still believes that
a woman should be wooed occasionally. And not far below the
surface I think the women still enjoy it, too.

So my recommendation is to go ahead and make today a little
extra special. It's surprising how even a small, but sincere
gesture can really warm a person's heart. And if small and
sincere doesn't work there's always insincere and expensive.

Laugh it up,

Joe

mailto:joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. If you want a real challenge click on the "Guess Who?
When They Were Young" link in the VIDEO SNACKBAR below the
quotes today. You won't believe some of the faces!

***

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***

"There's a gorilla in England who has learned to walk up-
right. Normally, they walk on their knuckles, which is why
they don't wear jewelry." -Jimmy Kimmel

***

Walgreens is now selling 50 cent beer. And just in time for
Valentine's Day." -David Letterman

***

"There was a power outage at Newark Airport. Who wants a TSA
pat-down with the lights off?" -Jay Leno


YOUR VIDEO SNACK BAR
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1. I Could Get Used To This
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6. What a Wonderful World It Would Be
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Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m., I dis-
covered that it had not been one of my wife's better days.
Nothing I said or did seemed to be right.

By 7 p.m. things had not changed, so before a fight started
in earnest I suggested I go outside, pretend I had just
gotten home, and start all over again. My wife agreed.

I went outside, came back in and, with a big smile,
announced, "Honey, I'm home!"

"And just where have you been?" she replied sharply. "It's
after seven o'clock!"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

Although I knew our commanding officer hated doling out week-
end passes, I thought I had a good reason.

"My wife is pregnant and I want to be with her," I told the
C.O. Much to my surprise he said, "Permission granted."

Inspired by my success, a fellow soldier also requested a
weekend pass. His wife wasn't pregnant, so when the C.O.
asked why he should grant him permission, my friend re-
sponded, "My wife is getting pregnant this weekend and I
want to be with her."

____________________________________________________________

WHAT DID THE BUDDHIST SAY TO THE HOTDOG VENDOR?

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