Thursday, July 7, 2011

Good morning crew,

There was only one little hiccup at the party last weekend and that was all on my part. Since it was such a beautiful day I decided to take the motorcycle. It just seemed a shame to leave it in the garage. But apparently I was more eager to start partying than I realized, because I did something that I have never done before in ten years of motorcycling. I left the key in the ignition.

By the time 7:30 rolled around and it was time to leave I found the battery as dead as a doornail, or any other kind of carpentry nail for that matter.

Fortunately Cousin Kaz had a trickle charger...unfortunately that would have taken about six hours to charge the battery. After waiting around for two hours and still failing to get enough voltage to turn the motor over I tried something a little more radical. I jumped the bike using a car battery.

I was terrified that the difference in the size of the batteries would blow my little motorcycle battery up, but after doing some quick research on the Internet I read that it could be done as long as the car isn't running while the jump is being done.

So crossing my fingers and looking away to protect my eyes from any explosions I hooked up the cables and hit the starter, and wouldn't you know it, the thing fired right up! That was three days ago and I haven't tried to start the bike since, so I may have ruined the battery, but in an emergency it's a good trick to remember!

Tomorrow is my nephew's wedding, so I'm taking the day off. If there are any adventures I'll fill you in on the details next week.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at the right of the page!

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"Sarah Palin spoke out about Independence Day, saying that if the British had won the war, we'd all be speaking English today." -Jay Leno

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"The Senate canceled their vacation to work on the budget. Either they really can't agree or they're looking for an excuse to not go on vacation with their families." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"Here in California, we passed a law against texting while driving. But there's no law preventing you from writing a letter while driving." -Craig Ferguson

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A man was sitting next to me in one of the two "husband chairs" in a ladies' clothing store.

After 30 minutes and five outfits, the fellow's wife came out of the changing room again.

He looked at her and immediately said: "That looks good on you. Get that one."

"Honey," she replied, "this is what I was wearing when we came in."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Traveling down the interstate and needing to use the bathroom, I stopped at a rest area and headed to the restrooms.

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the ther stall saying: 'Hi, how are you?'

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom and I don't know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed, 'Doin' just fine.'

And the other person says: 'So what are you up to?'

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: 'Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling.'

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. 'Can I come over?'

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them 'No..I'm a little busy right now!'

Then I hear the person say nervously... 'Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions.