Monday, May 26, 2014

Good morning crew,

Hot-diggity-snot, Memorial Day! And it was a beautiful weekend too. Right now I'm probably giving myself third degree burns while standing over a barbeque grill somewhere.

Even though the Solstice is next month everybody pretty much considers this the unofficial beginning of summer. There is a lot of fun to pack into the next three and a half months. I'm under so much pressure!

But if you are outside today, grilling pounds of delicious cheeseburgers and mountains of sausages and drinking all of that ice cold beer, please take a minute to remember the men and women who died in the service. It's their day!

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Scientists in London say they have invented a process that can actually turn light into matter, but warned people that their results won't be visible to the human eye. Well, in that case, I invented it too." -Jimmy Fallon

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"A group of scientists have started attaching sensors to sharks to help predict hurricane intensity. They're hoping the information they gather will save enough lives to offset the number of lives lost attaching sensors to sharks." -Seth Meyers

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"A Japanese company unveiled a robot that can tell jokes and then detect if the joke was well received. In a related story, I start my shift at Quiznos tomorrow." -Conan O'Brien

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I have my changed my system for labeling homemade freezer meals. I used to carefully note in large clear letters, "Meatloaf" or "Pot Roast" or "Steak and Vegetables or "Chicken and Dumplings" or "Beef Pot Pie."

However, I used to get frustrated when I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner because he never asked for any of those things. So, I decided to stock the freezer with what he really likes.

If you look in my freezer now you'll see a whole new set of labels. You'll find dinners with neat little tags that say: "Whatever," "Anything," "I Don't Know," "I Don't Care," "Something Good," or "Food." My frustration is now reduced because no matter what my husband replies when I ask him what he wants for dinner, I know that it is there waiting.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A Marine Captain stationed in Okinawa, Japan, Breaking silence I was accompanying the assistant commandant on his inspection of the troops. To break the silence, the general would ask some of the Marines standing at attention which outfit they were serving with. Ramrod straight, each would respond, "Marine Air Group 36, sir," or "Second Marine Division, General." But near the end of the inspection, when the general asked a young private, "Which outfit are you in?"

The Marine replied, "Dress blues with medals, sir!"