Monday, April 2, 2012

Good morning crew,

I went for my first run of the year this weekend. I don't know if it is my age or the fact that I haven't jogged in six months, but I began to feel it depressingly soon. And anybody who runs knows what "it" I am talking about. That tightness in the quads and the fast, shallow breathing that is the body's way of telling you, 'We've spent too many weekends sitting on the sofa drinking beer and watching TV.'

But I was absolutely determined to run more than 200 yards, so I forced my way through it, and I am pleased to report that I got back into the rhythm pretty quickly. In fact, I did almost three miles, which is pretty good for me.

Of course, it took me five minutes to get out of bed Sunday morning. But that might have also been a result of all the sushi and saki the girlfriend and I had Saturday night to celebrate.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Newt Gingrich is hoping to cut into his campaign debt by charging people $50 to take a photo with him. I would pay the 50 bucks if he agreed to wear a prom dress in the photo." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"A woman here in New York claims that her blind date stole her iPhone and her wallet. She was like, 'I have to get that iPhone back ? I mean, what if he calls?'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"'Titanic' is being re-released in 3-D, and they tried to update it a little bit to play to the younger crowd. In the new version, the captain hits the iceberg because he's texting." -Jay Leno

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A young man was applying for a job in a big company.

"I'm sorry," said the personnel manager, "but the firm is overstaffed; we have more employees now than we really need."

"That's all right," replied the young man, undiscouraged, "the little bit of work I do won't be noticed anyway."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
My broker called me this morning and said, "Remember that stock we bought and I said you'd be able to retire at age 65?"

"Yes, I remember," I said.

"Well," my broker continued, "your retirement age is now 108."