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Monday, August 23, 2010

Good morning crew,

It was a nice, hot, sunny weekend...mostly. I tried to enjoy
as much of it as possible, because pretty soon it's going to
be time for leather again. Speaking of which, I need to take
my leather coats somewhere to be repaired. I have three
leather coats and every one of them is falling apart at the
seams.

I know it will cost almost as much to get them repaired as
it will to just buy a new one, but I'm not one to give up on
a garment just because it's got a little history.

Name that movie (mini-series, actually) and I'll be impressed.

Laugh it up,

Joe

mailto:joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters
from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in
between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at
the bottom of the page!

***

OH Yeah...Well, Take THAT Martha Stewart
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/2047/c/186/a/505

***

"If women have excessive belly fat and a muffin-top, it can
be fatal. Especially if you mention it to her." -Jay Leno

***

"It's hot in August. August got its name from the Roman
emperor, August. Augustus must have been a good emperor
because he got a whole month named after him. All Julius
Caesar got was a salad." -Craig Ferguson

***

"More Americans can name the three stooges than the three
branches of government. Well, that's because the three
stooges are more likely to get something done."
-David Letterman


YOUR VIDEO SNACK BAR
Top Viewed Videos...

1. Amos N´ Andy - In the IRS Office
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4. Celebrities: Before and After Make-Up
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5. High Flying Dog
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6. Lucy and George Burns
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Think About It!

* Money doesn't bring you happiness, but it enables you to
look for it in more places.

* Your conscience may not keep you from doing wrong, but it
sure keeps you from enjoying it.

* Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of
the waist change places.

* Misers aren't much fun to live with, but they make great
ancestors.

* Be careful what rut you choose. You may be in it the rest
of your life.

* The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has
the same size bucket.

* When you see the handwriting on the wall, you can bet
you're in a public restroom.

* Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

* The real reason you can't take it with you is that it goes
before you do.

* Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you
need it.

* Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if
you wish they were.

* A closed mouth gathers no feet.

* A man (or woman) who can smile when things go wrong has
found someone to blame it on.

* A modern pioneer is a woman who can get through a rainy
Saturday with a television on the blink.

* The world is full of willing people: some willing to work
and some willing to let them.

* Money isn't everything....there's credit cards, money
orders, and travelers checks.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

My father was extremely nervous about his first funeral
service as a Navy chaplain, but the undertaker assured
him that he would prompt him. All went well until, at
the close, the undertaker whispered to him to instruct
the family to come up and view the body. "Will the family
now come forward and pass around the bier," said my
father.

He cringed inwardly when he heard his own words. Later,
as my father was leaving, he overheard two of the cemetery
workers talking. "I didn't get any beer," one said. "Did
you?"

"You heard the chaplain," the other replied. "It was just
for the family."

____________________________________________________________

WHAT DID THE BUDDHIST SAY TO THE HOTDOG VENDOR?

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