Monday, May 2, 2011
Good morning crew,
The girlfriend and I were sitting around after lunch Sunday
afternoon and discussing what to do with the rest of the
day.
"How about a movie?" I suggested.
"A movie? On such a gorgeous day? Why don't we go horseback
riding?"
"Sorry. I am not climbing on the back of a fifteen hundred
pound animal that is not smart enough not to kill me if it
gets startled by a car horn or something."
"Don't be such a sissy," she criticized. "The horses they
give beginners are very tame. Besides, it's fun!"
I stared at her with as straight a face as I could manage
and said, "I don't see how you can be so cavalier about
getting on a horse."
ZING!
Laugh it up,
Joe
mailto:joe@gophercentral.com
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I think all these storms are God's way of sending us a
message. I think that message is that when warm humid air
masses surge northward from the Gulf of Mexico and combine
with a strong jet stream, it can result in severe weather
conditions." -Jimmy Kimmel
***
"They say the sunsets in the South Pacific are a shade of
orange that you can't see anywhere else on earth. It would
be like seeing Snooki up close." -Craig Ferguson
***
"A new study found that students who use Facebook while
studying have 20 percent lower grades than students who
focus. When kids who use Facebook heard that they were
like, '20 percent? Big deal. What's that, like 10 percent?'"
-Jimmy Fallon
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The district attorney was cross-examining the murderess on
the witness stand.
"And so after you had poisoned the coffee and your husband
sat at the breakfast table partaking of the fatal dosage,
didn't you feel any qualms? Didn't you feel the slightest
pity for him knowing that he was about to die and was wholly
unconscious of it?"
"Yes," she answered. "Come to thik of it...there was just a
moment when I sort of felt sorry for him."
"And, when was that?"
"When he asked for the second cup."
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
Since he runs a pawnshop, I decided to ask a friend of mine
to appraise my grandfather's violin. "Old fiddles aren't
worth much, I'm afraid," he explained.
"What makes it a fiddle and not a violin?" I asked.
"If you're buying it from me, it's a violin. If I'm buying
it from you, it's a fiddle."
____________________________________________________________
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