Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Good morning crew,

Now that the family has left town after the wedding I can hammer the old condo back into shape for showings. It has looked a lot like a dorm room this last week. I mean, it has been six weeks since the last showing, so that means someone is bound to show some interest any day now, right?

Right?

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at the right of the page!


***
"A new species of shark has been discovered. It's kind of suspicious. It seems that a new shark is always discovered just before Shark Week." -Craig Ferguson

***
"Scientists believe that people born in the next 20 years could live to be 1,000 years old. How many times would you have to get up to go to the bathroom at that age?" -Jay Leno

***
"It is no secret that our economy is in the dumpster, because our economy knows the dumpster is where you can sometimes find old muffins." ?Stephen Colbert


***
One of my customers at the department of motor vehicles wanted a personalized license plate with his wedding anniversary on it. As we completed the paperwork he explained, "This way I can't forget the date."

A few hours later, I recognized the same young man waiting in my line. When his turn came, he said somewhat sheepishly, "I need to change the numbers on that plate application."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
I was waiting tables in a noisy lobster restaurant in Maine when a vacationing Southerner stumped me with a drink order. I approached the bartender. "Have you ever heard of a drink called 'Seven Young Blondes'?" I asked. He admitted he'd never heard of it, and grabbed a drink guidebook to look it up. Unable to find the recipe, he then asked me to go back and tell the patron that he'd be happy to make the drink if he could list the ingredients for him. "Sir," I asked the customer, "can you tell me what's in that drink?"

He looked at me like I was crazy. "It's wine," he said, pronouncing his words carefully, "Sauvignon blanc."