Thursday, January 24, 2013

Good morning crew,

One of those few, blessed weekends of quiet and freedom from responsibility is coming up. Probably the last one for a while. And the weather looks like it is going to be moderate as well.

What to do? What to do? Perhaps I'll trick the wife into going to the Bierstube for some authentic German food, since I never got to go during Oktoberfest.

I'll have to be sneaky about it, though, since she is more of a cheese pizza or fettuccine alfredo kind of girl. The idea of knackwurst or sauerbraten or pork shanks intimidates her.

I know! I will tell her we are going to Olive Garden, one of her favorite restaurants, and by the time she gets an idea of where we are headed we'll already be on the expressway and it will be too late for her to jump from the car.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"You know who gave the shortest inauguration speech in history? George Washington. It was only like three minutes long. Well, sure. George Washington couldn't tell a lie." -Jay Leno

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"More than a million people gathered in our nation's capital yesterday, and tens of millions more watched from home to celebrate the first lady's new haircut. Most people seem to like the hair style, though some Republicans are demanding further cuts." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"Sources are saying that Tiger Woods wants to re-marry his ex-wife and might be willing to go for a no-cheating clause. This special clause would be known as a wedding vow." -Conan O'Brien

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My sister is a know-it-all who bristles at anyone's well-intentioned advice. But when our older sister gave her several clever tips, she was impressed.

"I have to hand it to Pat," she told me. "She really is smart. Not Jeopardy! smart; more Wheel of Fortune smart."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
My friend sat down with a new client at her gym to review her application. For the question "To what do you attribute your fitness issues?" the woman wrote, "Horrendous eating habits."

"What makes you answer that?" my friend asked.

The woman replied, "I can't spell atrocious."