Tuesday, September 13, 2011Good morning crew,
Since I figured I'm going to be broke (more broke than usual, anyway) when the first bill for the new couch comes at the end of the month, I asked the girlfriend out to dinner Saturday night while I still have a few drachmas to rub together.
When she came over I was still trying to decide what to wear. I wanted to look nice, but not over-dressed, so I decided on casual, black slacks and a white button down. While I was looking on the finished product in the mirror it struck me that I looked not so much like a metrosexual stud-about-town but more like a waiter.
So walking out to the living room where the girlfriend was waiting I said, "Hey, do I look like George Clooney dressed like this or do I look like a waiter?"
Pausing to come up with what I'm sure she thought was a judicious answer, she said, "You look like George Clooney if he were a waiter."
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.comP.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at the right of the page!
***"Hey, I read about a McDonald's in California that was built with mostly recycled synthetic material. Which is ironic because recycled synthetic material is also the main ingredient in a McRib." -Jimmy Fallon
***"The candidates at the Republican debate looked like a town council that was outlawing dancing." -David Letterman
***"People around the world think America is the coolest country. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an explosion to walk away from while I put on sunglasses in slow motion." -Jimmy Kimmel
***As I serviced an alarm system at a jewelry store recently, the saleswoman let me know that the store was having a 20 percent off sale.
"I bet your girlfriend would love it if you bought her something." she suggested.
"I don't have a girlfriend," I answered.
"No girlfriend? Why not?"
"My wife won't let me."
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*Although I knew our commanding officer hated doling out weekend passes, I thought I had a good reason.
"My wife is pregnant and I want to be with her," I told the C.O. Much to my surprise he said, "Permission granted."
Inspired by my success, a fellow soldier also requested a weekend pass. His wife wasn't pregnant, so when the C.O. asked why he should grant him permission, my friend responded, "My wife is getting pregnant this weekend and I want to be with her."