Thursday, May 16, 2013

Good morning crew,


"Hey Joe, If you can get a crown for $500.00 I want the name of your dentist! I live in California and the cheapest crown here is around $1200! Keep up the laughs." -Ellen


That's why I have insurance! I don't even know what the full cost of the procedure is, but I am on the hook for about $500. Which is plenty.

Fortunately I won't have to worry about paying that for a month. My constant yammering about my visit to the Hofbrauhaus in Rosemont last month has inspired a growing group of bon vivants to plan a trip up there this weekend, and that is going to absorb a significant percentage of disposable funds.

I would hate to have to be put to the test; pay for a new crown or take the wife out for an evening Hofbrau beer, wiener schnitzel and authentic Bavarian music.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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One of the first things you learn on your honeymoon is, when you're carrying your bride over the threshold, always go in sideways -- unless of course two broken ankles and a concussion turn you on.

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The government will be requiring new food labels that are more specific. Products will now be labeled, no fat, low fat, reduced fat and fat, but great personality.

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"I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on." -Beryl Pfizer, American journalist

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Before my daughter went on her first date, I gave her "the talk."

"Sometimes, it's easy to get carried away when you are with a boy," I said. "Remember, a short moment of indiscretion could ruin your life."

"Don't worry," she said. "I don't plan on ruining my life until I get married."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
My sister and I were out on the town one night when we ran into a man I knew. "You're sisters?" he asked incredulously. "You look nothing alike.

Pointing to her nose and my chin, my sister said, "Different plastic surgeons."