Friday, November 7, 2014

Good morning crew,

The wife and I were watching TV the other night and she was a bit appalled to see Christmas commercials already.

"It's November," I said. "the smart people are already doing their Christmas shopping. Speaking of which, what would you like for Christmas?"

"Instead of wasting money buying each other gifts why don't we put our money together and buy something for the house?"

"That's a good idea," I answered. "What are you thinking?"

"How about a dining room set!"

I said, slightly under my breath, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"The number 1 movie in the country is 'Ouija,' as in the Ouija board. I can hardly wait for the next blockbuster motion picture - Yahtzee!" -Dave Letterman

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"Last night daredevil Nik Wallenda successfully completed a tightrope walk of 500 feet between two Chicago skyscrapers. Then he took part in an even more dangerous stunt - walking through Chicago on the ground." -Jimmy Fallon

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"Tomorrow is National Healthy Eating Day. But tomorrow is also National Doughnut Day, which seems like bad planning. And then Thursday is National Nachos Day. Poor National Healthy Eating Day. It's totally outgunned." -Jimmy Kimmel

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As team leader of the Police Tactics and Rescue Unit, I directed officers late one night to strategic positions around a building where a dangerous suspect was hiding.

Believing the culprit to be on the roof, I decided to have an officer shine his flash-light in that direction on my command.

At just the right moment, I whispered to him, "Okay, throw a light on the roof."

The officer hurled his flashlight to the top of the building.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Two keys hang in an undertaker's office - one for the organ in the chapel; the other for one of the cars in the garage.

Two small signs above the keys read "Hymn" and "Hearse."