Monday, November 24, 2014

Good morning crew,

I almost didn't get out of bed this morning. Yesterday we had temperatures in the 50s and since snow is supposed to be coming I took the opportunity to drag the wife out to the yard to help me rake.

After 20 years of living in apartments my back is not used to raking! A brief two hours of vigorous physical labor and I was practically paralyzed this morning.

But I'm glad we did it. The snow really started coming down earlier today and all of those leaves would have been buried under a blanket of white.

Come to think of it, if I had just procrastinated one more day the problem would have solved itself.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Facebook is showing no sign whatsoever that they will ever leave us alone. They're developing 'Facebook at Work.' We already have a Facebook for people at work. It's called Facebook." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"Pseudoscience describes theories that sound like science but are actually just made up, like aromatherapy or biorhythms or love." -Craig Ferguson

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"The NYPD is apparently teaching its officers how to be more polite. It's true last time I got frisked, the cop was like, 'Have you lost weight?'" -Jimmy Fallon

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Before my daughter went on her first date, I gave her "the talk."

"Sometimes, it's easy to get carried away when you are with a boy," I said. "Remember, a short moment of indiscretion could ruin your life."

"Don't worry," she said. "I don't plan on ruining my life until I get married."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Sitting in the bar George asked his 40-year-old friend John, "How come you aren't married?"

John: "I haven't found the right woman yet."

George: "So what are you looking for?"

John: "Oh she's got to be real pretty, a good cook and house keeper, she's got to know how to handle finances, have a nice and pleasant personality -- and money, she's got to have money, and if she has her own house it wouldn't hurt either."

George: "A woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU!"

John: "Oh, it's okay if she is crazy."