Monday, July 27, 2015

Good morning crew,

So, the sump pump is finally taken care of, and I think the salesman over-sold me. When the technician came to the house to install the new system he unpacked a monstrosity that I seriously doubted was going to fit into that little sump pit.

I should have done the math beforehand. The new pump is 60 percent larger (or more powerful, specifically) than the original and is designed to pump over 70 gallons per minute straight up for ten feet.

The sump basin, if we apply a little pi r (squared) h, is not even 4 cubic feet, or about 28 gallons of volume.

When he finally got the thing in, with a little cursing and a lot of legerdemain, and it was time to test it out, the new pump emptied the basin in about 2 seconds. Granted, the pump itself took up about 40 percent of the volume of the basin.

This thing could keep the bilge of a destroyer dry.

Plus, after some persuasive arguments from the wife, we sprang for a backup pump and an emergency battery system, too.

At this point we are prepared for pretty much any water-based emergency short of a tsunami...which is unlikely here in the midwest.

All we have to do now is pay for it.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A new study found that overweight men are more likely to have children with weight problems. Or in other words, if you get your dad's genes, you're also going to get his sweatpants." -Jimmy Fallon

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"The Museum of the Moving Image in New York is opening a new exhibit dedicated to cats that are famous on the internet. So if you love the internet, and you love cats, you're probably not making it out of the house." -Seth Meyers

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"A new study found that government employees are the happiest workers. The study was not conducted at the DMV." -Conan O'Brien

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A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons. The instructions left in the will said that the oldest boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and the youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the difficulty of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue.

Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and drove out to settle the matter. He added his mule to the 17, making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or nine, the second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son got one-ninth, or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle, having settled the argument, hitched up his mule and drove home.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A man standing in line at a check out counter of a grocery store was very surprised when a very attractive woman behind him said, "Hello!" Her face was beaming.

He gave her that "who are you look," and couldn't remember ever having seen her before. Then, noticing his look, she figured she had made a mistake and apologized.

"Look," she said "I'm really sorry but when I first saw you, I thought you were the father of one of my children," and walked out of the store.

The guy was dumbfounded and thought to himself, "What is the world coming to? Here is an attractive woman who can't keep track of who fathers her children!"

Then he got a little panicky. "I don't remember her," he thought, but MAYBE...during one of the fraternity parties he had been to when he was in college, perhaps he did father her child! He ran from the store and caught her in the parking lot and asked, "Are you the girl I met at a party in college and then we had a little too much to drink and spent the night together but I never called you again afterward?"

"No", she said with a horrified look on her face. "I'm your son's Sunday School teacher."