Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Good morning crew,
Southern Illinois University, where I went to college, has
a beautiful recreation center. A huge weight room full of
free weights and machines, an eighth-of-a-mile, indoor track,
a Olympic-size, indoor pool, a nice, big martial arts/boxing/
wrestling room, an indoor basketball court, etc...it's huge.
And the best part was, it was open (and I'm sure still is)
from five in the morning until eleven at night.
I remember thinking nothing of putting in an hour in the
weight room or a couple thousand yards in the pool at nine
or ten o'clock at night! Of course, I was 20 at the time.
Fast forward to last night. I came home from work around
six-thirty, and since the pool at my local health club
doesn't open for lap swim until 7:30 I decided to sit down
and watch an hour of television...whereupon I immediately
fell asleep on the sofa.
I woke up at 8:30, had a bite of dinner and was back in bed
by 10:30.
So apparently I need to go back to college!
Laugh it up,
Joe
mailto:joe@gophercentral.com
P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters
from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in
between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at
the bottom of the page!
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A mission statement is defined as "a long, awkward sentence
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All good companies have one.
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If it weren't for the fact that the TV and the refrigerator
are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.
***
"Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering
what the hell happened." --Cora Harvey Armstrong
YOUR VIDEO SNACK BAR
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1. I Could Get Used To This
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4. A Dog with Human Arms
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5. Alfred Hitchcock Montage
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6. What a Wonderful World It Would Be
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To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and
don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.
"C'mon, Honey. Really, Honey. Honey!" A real man will just
sit there and wait for you to step aside. If you don't,
eventually he'll say, "What? All right, what? I'm sitting
here, okay? I'm listening!"
Another way to get his attention is to fool around with his
stereo equipment. Or mess around with the car. Adjusting the
timing chain is a good one. If he has a tool pegboard,
remove a tool and hide it somewhere special. Within a day
he'll notice that it's gone and come right to you. Be pre-
pared though, He will be cranky.
More attention getters: scratch the paint on his car, throw
out his favorite sweatshirt, or punch him in the stomach
when he's not looking. His expression alone will be priceless.
--Tim Allen
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
While I was working in the men's section of a department
store, a woman asked me to help her choose a white dress
shirt for her husband.
When I asked about his size, the woman looked stumped at
first, then her face brightened. She held up her hands,
forming a circle with her forefingers and thumbs.
"I don't know his size," she said, "but my hands fit per-
fectly around his neck."
____________________________________________________________
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