Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Good morning crew,
I'm not very good with paperwork. It's a consequence of being
a lazy slob. Bills, tax documents, receipts, doctor records,
personal correspondence...it all gets stuffed in various
drawers, boxes and underneath sofa cushions.
I'm just not a very good organizer.
But if I do manage to buy a house and move some time in the
next decade I'll need to have it all sorted and filed away.
So this weekend, with nothing better to do, I decided to wade
into the task and see how far I could get. The answer is; not
far.
I began by moving a few pieces of furniture and emptying all
of my drawers, boxes and sofa cushions onto the living room
floor. What I ended up with was a significant mountain which
I perhaps overly optimistically hoped to whittle down to a
molehill.
Imagine the amount of time it would take just to remove three
or four hundred documents from envelopes. Then there is the
sorting and making of stacks, and attempting to organize by
date. I put in a six hour day on Saturday and another six
hour day on Sunday and by the end of the weekend the place
looked even more disorganized than when I started, if that's
possible.
I put in another couple of hours last night and I'm going to
have to do the same tonight. Now that I have started there
is no turning back. I just hope I can get the project done
by Thanksgiving.
Laugh it up,
Joe
mailto:joe@gophercentral.com
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"The Postal Service is facing a $7 billion budget short
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now be $4,000." --Jimmy Kimmel
***
"A new government study has found that the average American
car weighs five-hundred pounds more than it did ten years
ago. However, this is only true if an average American is
sitting in the car." --Conan O'Brien
***
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one of a kind souvenir be sure to take home the police sketch
of your assailant." --Dave Letterman
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The difference between "Men" and "Guys"
Men: know what they want to be doing five years down the road.
Guys: are not sure what they want to be doing later tonight.
Men: read Crichton, watch Rather, play golf.
Guys: read King, watch Seinfeld, play poker.
Men: wear ties with stripes, shirts with buttons, and shoes
with laces.
Guys: wear high school T-shirts they've actually owned since
high school.
Men: balance their checkbooks.
Guys: balance their loans so that they never hit up the same
buddy twice in a row.
Men: claim to be feminist but still insist on opening doors,
driving, and paying for dinner.
Guys: claim to be feminists so they can let YOU open doors,
drive, and pay for dinner.
Men: are afraid of becoming their fathers.
Guys: are afraid of becoming men.
Men: put you on the phone when their mothers call.
Guys: pretend you're not there when their moms call.
Men: start their own businesses.
Guys: quit their jobs.
Men: are experts on women's erogenous zones.
Guys: are experts on their own erogenous zone.
Men: order wine based on more than the price.
Guys: bring their own beer.
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Not long ago I met the waitress of my dreams.
About halfway through dinner I called the waitress over and
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She nodded, picked up the potato and smacked it. Then she
put it back on my plate and said, "Sir, if that potato
causes any more trouble, you just let me know."
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