Powered By

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Good morning crew,

The health club I go to has 2 floors (or 'etagen' to use the German word). The ground floor is occupied by the free weights, the weight machines, the racquetball courts, the basketball court, the pool and the locker rooms.

The second floor is occupied by the stationary bikes, the treadmills, the steppers, and the ellipticals. There is a big, two-flight staircase right in the middle of the gym that goes up to the second floor with a landing overlooking the weightroom so you can watch the muscle-heads curling manhole covers and bench-pressing truck axles.

Behind the stairs there is also an elevator. I assume they use it to move machines up and down when they need to be replaced, but I have also seen the cleaning people bring their vacuum cleaners and other equipment up and down in it.

I was there just the other day, heading up the stairs to put in 20 minutes on the treadmill, when I saw a young woman in workout clothes getting on the elevator.

I didn't think anything of it until I saw her get off on the second floor. She walked over to a stair-stepper, climbed on and began working out!

My question is; what is the logic? Is it some kind of female thinking that I don't understand? Why take the time to stand and wait for an elevator, in order to avoid climbing 20 stairs, so you can get on a stair-climbing machine?

I'm seriously starting to think I'm the one doing something wrong.

Laugh it up,


P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

"The Olympic torch arrived in Rio today in preparation for Friday's opening ceremony. And the cool thing about Rio is, if the torch runs out of fuel you can just dip it in the ocean and it'll reignite." -Seth Meyers


"The golf tournament at the Rio Olympics will be played on a course that is apparently infested with 150-pound rodents. The official said, 'Don't worry, the giant snakes will eat them. So don't worry about them. Golf away, enjoy yourself.'" -Jimmy Fallon


"Sanitation is a big problem in Rio right now. The Olympic village is giving away thousands of condoms for the athletes to wear over their heads for the swimming events." -Jimmy Kimmel


One day while jogging, a middle-aged man noticed a tennis ball lying by the side of the walk. Being fairly new and in good condition, he picked the ball up, put it in his pocket and proceeded on his way.

Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a young woman standing next to him smiling.

Noticing the rather distinct bulge she asked, "What do you have in your pocket?"

"Tennis ball," the man said, smiling back.

"Wow!" said the woman looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was terrible!"

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

Little Noah came into the house with a new harmonica. "Grandpa, do you mind if I play this in here?"

"Of course not, Noah. I love music. In fact, when your grandma and I were young, music saved my life."

"What happened?"

"Well, it was during the famous Johnstown flood. The dam broke and when the water hit out house it knocked it right off the foundation. Grandma got on the dining room table and floated out safely."

"How about you?"

"Me? I accompanied her on the piano!"

Top Viewed Issues