Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Good morning crew,
I never cease to be amazed by the human body. Last night I
was sure I was getting sick. I was all stuffy and sneezing,
I felt lethargic and exhausted and my head was killing me.
So I went to the pool.
A quick thousand yards and I felt like a new person. My head
was clear and I felt energetic. It was like the endorphins
gave my whole metabolism a jump start.
Or it could be that the gallons of chlorine and other
chemicals they dump in that water killed whatever was growing
in my sinuses. Either way, it worked for me!
Laugh it up,
Joe
mailto:joe@gophercentral.com
P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters
from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in
between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at
the bottom of the page!
***
Keep Your Feet Warm With These Fuzzy Socks
$2.99 a pair - OR - buy 2 for $4.98
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/4019/c/186/a/505
***
"Today is Cyber Monday, the big online shopping day. It will
be followed by Identity Theft Tuesday." -Conan O'Brien
***
"There's a Nerf automatic dart gun that fires 60 darts in
20 seconds. Our kids are so fat now that it takes 60 darts
to take them down." -Jay Leno
***
"Black Friday is getting crazier every year. On Thanksgiving
Thursday, we give thanks for the truly meaningful things,
and then on Friday, we go out and stab each other to save
$6.99 on a Nintendo DS." -Jimmy Kimmel
YOUR VIDEO SNACK BAR
Top Viewed Videos...
1. All the Single Babies
http://c.gophercentral.com/Icgl
2. Celebrities: Before and After Make-Up
http://c.gophercentral.com/lhPb
3. Amos N´ Andy - In the IRS Office
http://c.gophercentral.com/DVhQ
4. The D-Day Invasion
http://c.gophercentral.com/DDAx
5. The Spanish Civil War
http://c.gophercentral.com/3K42
6. The Human Slinky
http://c.gophercentral.com/Wwa9
While hiking in the mountains one day I came across a gor-
geous gorge that I thought was an echo canyon. I shouted,
"Hello there." But the response sounded to me like, "Hello
where?"
I tried again. "How do you do?"
A moment later the report came back sounding like, "How do
I do what?"
Baffled and amused I decided to give it the ultimate test.
"You're not really an echo canyon, are you?"
The response from the big ditch confirmed my suspicions.
"Brilliant deduction, Einstein."
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
According to a news report, a certain private school in
Washington was recently faced with a unique problem. A
number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick
and would put it on in the Bathroom. That was fine, but
after they put on their lipstick they would press their
lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the
next day the girls would put them back. Finally the
principal decided that something had to be done.
She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there
with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip
prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who
had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine
the yawns from the little princesses).
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the
mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls
how much effort was required.
He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the
toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.
Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
____________________________________________________________
WHAT DID THE BUDDHIST SAY TO THE HOTDOG VENDOR?
Want to know the answer to this important question? Then you
need to get a copy of THE BEST OF CLEAN LAFFS! Order Joe's
laff diary for the new, reduced DEAL price of * $1.51 * plus
postage and handling.
Check it out: http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/2421/c/120/a/505
************************************************************