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Monday, December 21, 2009

Good morning crew,

It was a nice relaxing weekend. And it will be the last one
for a while, too. I actually finished my Christmas shopping,
now the only obstacle looming in my near future is figuring
out something to do for New Year's Eve.

And I'd better come up with something, too. My girlfriend
didn't appreciate it last year when we spent New Year's Eve
at TGI Fridays.

Laugh it up,

Joe

mailto:joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. We now have a Forum. You can post comments on this and
recent issues at... http://cleanlaffs.gophercentral.com

***

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***

"According to a New York Times/CBS News poll, 26 percent
of unemployed adults blame George W. Bush for the high un-
employment rate. The other 74 percent blame the fact that
they majored in English Literature." -Jimmy Fallon

***

"In China, an animal trainer taught his monkeys kung fu but
then they turned on him using their best kung fu moves. If
I've said it once, I've said it a million times ? only teach
your monkeys your worst Kung Fu moves." -Conan O'Brien

***

"President Obama is said to be hard at work on his New Year's
resolutions. His plan for 2010 is to do all the things he
said he was going to do this year." -Jimmy Kimmel


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A co-worker was telling us about her sister who was coming
to visit her for the holidays. Someone asked how old her
sister was, at which she paused, thought for a bit, and
then answered, "She's half as old as I am, that's how I
always remember."

So someone else (okay, it was me) said, "That's neat...
So every year that you age, she only ages half a year?"
My co-worker thought about that, and then said, "Oh, yeah,
I guess it only works on even years."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

A man comes home with his daughter, whom he has just taken
to work for the day. The little girl asks, "I saw you in
your office with your secretary. Why do you call her a doll."

Feeling his wife's gaze upon him, the man explains, "Well,
honey, my secretary is a very hard-working girl. She types
like you wouldn't believe, she knows the computer system,
and is very efficient."

The daughter thinks for a minute and then replies, "Oh. I
thought it was because she closed her eyes when you lay her
down."

____________________________________________________________

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