Thursday, June 23, 2011

Good morning crew,

Big black belt test this Saturday. Not mine this time. The girlfriend is finally testing for her first degree in hapkido (that's the throwing stuff). She already has a second degree black belt in taekwondo (that's the kicking stuff) but taking up hapkido was a real challenge for her because it involves a lot of rolling around on the ground with a bunch of sweaty, smelly guys who are usually bigger than her. And that's not something most chicks are into. In taekwondo you just stand at a comfortable three or four feet away from your opponent and kick them in the head.

But she stuck it out...for almost three years. That's determination. Now I am going to have to be a lot more careful about where I put my hands!

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at the right of the page!

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"Tuesday was the summer solstice. It's the longest day of the year, if you don't count Thanksgiving with your family." -David Letterman

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"I don't know if you heard, but astronaut Buzz Aldrin is getting divorced. Apparently, he just needed some space." -Jimmy Fallon

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"You all know Bristol Palin has a book. She reveals that she lost her virginity on a camping trip. Bristol said she named her son 'Tripp' because 'camping' seemed like a dumb name." -Conan O'Brien

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My wife and I take turns walking our five-year-old daughter to the bus stop for school every morning. Today was my turn, and as me and all the other moms in the neighborhood waited one of them asked me to say hello to my wife.

"I will," I said. "it'll make her feel better. She has pneumonia..."

"Oh, poor girl," they all said in unison.

One of them crooked her eyebrow at me and said, "I hope you're helping her with the kids, the cooking and cleaning."

"I can't," I said pointing to the band aid on my index finger. "Hangnail."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
An influential Londoner wound up a business trip to the Orient with a visit to Taipei. At a luncheon he was asked to say a few words. Since he spoke not a word of Chinese, his address was to be translated by an interpreter sentence by sentence.

"I want you to know," he began, "I'm tickled to death to be asked here today."

A look of panicked confusion appeared on the interpreter's face. "This poor man," he said in Chinese, "Scratches himself until he dies, only to be with you today."