Powered By

Monday, October 24, 2016

Good morning crew,

Well, I might end up regretting it, but the wife and I decided to have another Halloween party this weekend. Last year's party only resulted in minor property damage, so we figured we would risk it again.

Unfortunately, we are still a bit wiped out from our recent trip, both financially and physically, so this party will be a little more low key. More of an intimate gathering of friends than a blowout of epic proportions.

Of course, when you apply enough alcohol to a bunch of repressed, middle-aged adolescents I guess anything can happen.

Laugh it up,


P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

"A London architect has come up with a concept for a floating hotel that is self-sustaining and could potentially move around the world. Great job, architect. You just invented the cruise ship." -Seth Meyers


"A new study shows that elected leaders don't live as long as their defeated opponents. So if there's a candidate you really don't like, vote for them." -Stephen Colbert


"Researchers at the Center for Tobacco Control at Scotland University are working on an invention: Talking packs of cigarettes that warn smokers about the side effects of tobacco. I don't know; that actually might make me START smoking." -Jimmy Kimmel


If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with.

But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize that you had set it either married it or gave birth to it.

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

[This is an old, old one, but still one of my favorites...]

A fifth generation farmer has determined that his son will be the first in their family to go to college. So he and the wife save every penny for years and when the big day comes for junior to leave for school, the old man is the proudest he's ever been.

After the first semester junior comes home for Christmas break and the old man sits him down for a talk. "Well, boy, you been at school for three months now, I want you to tell me some of that fancy book learnin'."

So junior says, "My favorite class is math, pa. Just last week we learned a new formula...Pi r squared."

At hearing this the old man screws up his eyes and smacks his forehead, "Dog gone-it! I spent all that money on schooling and all you can tell me is Pi r squared? Why everybody knows pie are round...CORNBREAD are squared!"

Top Viewed Issues