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Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Good morning crew,

I made my first sale at the taekwondo school and I have to admit I'm pretty pleased with myself.

It was kind of fun, actually.

For years I have been teaching martial arts to little kids, but it is only recently that I have started taking on more administrative roles, sitting in the front office, dealing with parents, etc.

A couple weeks ago a mom brought her two kids into the school and after talking with her for a few minutes I set her kids up with some free classes. The trial period ended yesterday and I cornered their mom in the office for my big sales pitch.

I had to work her for about 20 minutes. I could tell she was a bit on the edge. It was between taekwondo and soccer, and had to use several different angles on her in order to talk her into taekwondo.

"How long are your kids going to use the skills they learn kicking a ball down a field?" I asked her. "The fundamentals of martial arts will stay with them the rest of their lives."

Only if they continue to practice them, of course, but I didn't want to bog down the momentum with trivial details.

Eventually I got her to sign both kids up. And not just on a month-to-month basis, but complete black belt contracts.

Unfortunately, for me there is no commission. I'm not an employee. Technically I'm just a student who is helping out. But I'll tell you this much, making that sale was more satisfying, in its own way, than trying to drill front snap kick and big stance, low block into the recalcitrant little skulls of a bunch of 6-year-olds.

Laugh it up,


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"Apparently Trump was unsure about the guy he was choosing for vice president all the way down to the wire. They say he wanted to dump Gov. Mike Pence at midnight the night before the announcement - which would have made him a Pence dispenser." -Jimmy Kimmel


"Construction has just started on a two-mile underground 'beer pipeline' in Europe. Which explains why today, Britain changed its mind on Brexit." -Conan O'Brien


"A math blogger says he's figured out 'the world's favorite number.' It turns out that it's 7. The least popular number? The fake phone number you get when you tell a girl you're a math blogger." -Jimmy Fallon


According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the Bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.

She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses).

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

I was traveling through Georgia last summer and stopped at a little backwoods country store. In the men's room there was a handwritten sign above the malfunctioning potty which said, "Please Wiggel Handel".

Below that some wit had written, "If I do, will it wiggel Bach?"

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