Monday, October 28, 2013

Good morning crew,

The wife has been desperately trying to convince me to wear some sort of costume for Halloween this Thursday. I'm not sure why. We are just going to stop out at the local bar for a couple hours with a few friends. Not exactly worth the time or money to put together even the simplest costume.

Although to placate the wife I might attempt something vague and easy-to-fake like 'minister without portfolio' or 'persona non grata' or something.

It's important to keep your significant other happy.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. EVTV1 is back and better than ever! This video portal was created to weed through the online clutter to bring you the best animal video clips...funniest videos...most popular...PLUS the most unusual. New videos are added daily!

***
"Pope Francis is reportedly selling his Harley-Davidson motorcycle. When asked why he was selling it, he said, 'When I get it over 30 miles an hour, it's hard to keep my hat on.'" -Conan O'Brien

***
"A new study found that ancient cave art from 40,000 years ago was mostly done by women. So even back then men didn't have a say in decorating." -Jimmy Fallon

***
"Squirrels have invaded the White House garden because the gardeners were laid off. Michelle Obama planted a garden to show how easy it is to grow your own food. All you need is water, sunlight, and 50 full-time federal employees." -Craig Ferguson

***
My mom has a lead foot, so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we were driving through Georgia. Hoping to get off with a warning, Mom tried to appear shocked when he walked up to the car.

"I have never been stopped like this before," she said to the officer.

"What do they usually do, ma'am," he asked, "shoot the tires out?"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go."

"But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked.

"I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground" he answered.

"But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked.

The man quickly answered. "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack."