Thursday, January 6, 2011
Good morning crew,
I forgot to tell you about my Christmas haul! I scored
two sweaters, three bottles of booze (including a bottle
of very unique Japanese scotch from old Mason), a body
pillow (made with the best toxic chemicals available in
China), a very nice watch and a humidifier.
Now you might ask yourself why a person would get a
humidifier for a Christmas present. That was a result of
my girlfriend coming over one afternoon and finding a pot
of water boiling on the stovetop.
When I explained to her I do it sometimes to put moisture
in the air when it gets really dry in the apartment, she
determined that she should keep me from burning my building
down by getting me the humidifier.
What can I say? She cares.
Laugh it up,
Joe
mailto:joe@gophercentral.com
P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters
from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in
between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at
the bottom of the page!
***
Reduce Wrinkles Under the Eyes with Olive Oil Formula Eye Cream
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/1134/c/186/a/505
***
"Levi Johnston reportedly has a new girlfriend in Alaska
named Sunny Oglesby. Which raises an interesting question:
Is there anyone in Alaska with a normal human name?"
-Jimmy Fallon
***
"Two people won the Mega Millions lottery. If you missed
the drawing, the winning numbers were...not yours."
-Craig Ferguson
***
"During the first few weeks of January, people often resolve
to lose weight, which is great for me because the line at
Sizzler is much shorter." -Jimmy Kimmel
YOUR VIDEO SNACK BAR
Top Viewed Videos...
1. The Wizard of Oz
http://c.gophercentral.com/TO1y
2. The Way You Make Me Feel
http://c.gophercentral.com/oqpH
3. Day of the Kamikaze
http://c.gophercentral.com/LzMN
4. Beauty and the Beast
http://c.gophercentral.com/PuM4
5. A Dog with Human Arms
http://c.gophercentral.com/JaIE
6. Women in Film
http://c.gophercentral.com/bXY7
Procrastinator's Calender
NEG FRI FRI FRI THU WED TUE
8 7 6 5 4 3 2
16 15 14 12 11 10 9
23 22 21 20 19 18 17
32 30 28 27 26 25 24
39 38 37 36 35 34 33
1. This is a special calendar for handling rush jobs. All
rush jobs are needed yesterday. With this calendar, a job
or project can be ordered on the 7th and delivered on the
3rd.
2. Many companies set Friday deadlines, so there are three
Fridays in every week. This is also beneficial for those
persons who are paid on Fridays.
3. There are eight new days added to each month, to allow
for month-end panic jobs.
4. There is no 1st of the month, thus avoiding late delivery
of the previous month's last-minute panic jobs.
5. Monday morning hangovers are abolished, along with non-
productive Saturdays and Sundays.
6. A new day - Negotiation Day - has been introduced keeping
the other days free for uninterrupted panic.
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
Bob meets Bill at the bar after work and is looking down in
the dumps.
"Whats wrong now Bob," asked Bill.
Bob replies, "They called in a management team and gave
everyone in the office an aptitude test to see what they were
best suited for."
"Yeah, so whats the problem with that," asks Bill.
Bob sighs, "Well, it seems I'm best suited for unemployment."
____________________________________________________________
WHAT DID THE BUDDHIST SAY TO THE HOTDOG VENDOR?
Want to know the answer to this important question? Then you
need to get a copy of THE BEST OF CLEAN LAFFS! Order Joe's
laff diary for the new, reduced DEAL price of * $1.51 * plus
postage and handling.
Check it out: http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/2421/c/120/a/505
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