Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Good morning crew,

Okay...now that the tournament is over things are almost back to normal. For the time being, anyway. So that means I need a new project, and I think I have just the thing. It's time for me to get into beach shape.

I know, I know I say the same exact thing every year, but this time I mean it! Memorial Day, the unofficial start of summer, is in twelve weeks. Twelve weeks to re-carve my body out of marble.

But it is not going to be easy. Since I have started teaching I have almost no time to work out, but the advantage of teaching in a martial arts school is that there are always opportunities to sneak in a little training here and there, before and after classes.

Exercise, of course, is not enough. Diet is also important. Unfortunately my diet leaves something to be desired, or maybe too much to be desired. For example, last night I went shopping and picked up apples, bananas, tuna and whole wheat bread, but I also bought sweet and salty peanut granola bars (which have almost as much sugar as a Snickers), several boxes of macaroni and cheese (hey, it's quick) and some diabolically addictive poison called cheese and peanut butter sandwich crackers.

But I just tell myself, 'Each package of sandwich crackers is only the caloric equivalent of about 400 situps.'

I guess I'd better get started.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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***
"A man in Albuquerque has registered his dog to vote. Apparently the dog likes the current administration but he's not sure he wants another 28 years of Obama." -Conan O'Brien

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"It seems a cat named Hank is running for the Senate in Virginia. You know the difference between a cat and politician? A cat doesn't pretend to care about you." -Jay Leno

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"A new report found that Hawaii has the best quality of life of any state in the U.S. You know, just in case you thought it sucked living in Hawaii." -Jimmy Fallon

***
I arrived home to find the place ransacked. Fortunately, my niece and her husband, PJ, were with me.

Grabbing a golf club out of the trunk, PJ searched the house to make sure the robber was gone. Then he looked at the club ? a three iron.

"I should have taken the wedge," he said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Lately I've been having trouble hitting anything with my three."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
"I'll never find the right guy," I heard the young guest at the wedding shower sigh.

"Don't give up," urged an older woman. "Every pot has a lid."

"Or," a cynical voice behind her offered, "you could just be a skillet."