Thursday, June 30, 2011

Good morning crew,

Wow. Big weekend and big week coming up. Monday is the Fourth of July, which means a three day weekend capped off by the usual extravaganza at Cousin Kaz's house, and then the next Friday one of my nephews is getting married which means there will be a bunch of family coming into town over the course of next week.

I will be hosting my sister and brother-in-law starting this weekend. They are arriving Sunday which means I have two more days to sit on the sofa in my underwear, drinking beer and playing video games. After that I have to pretend that I live a productive life.

On the plus side, today is payday. That means I will be able to stock my kitchen with more than Ramen Noodles and beer for my houseguests. It also means I will be able to afford a more lavish wedding present for my nephew than, well, Ramen Noodles and beer.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at the right of the page!


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"Looking through the want ads last week, I came across a job that required a college degree or the equivalent. Finally, I thought, my eight years of high school are paying off." --Buzz Nutley

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"I get those maternal feelings sometimes, like when I'm lying on the couch and can't reach the remote, I think, 'Boy, a kid would be nice right now.'" --Kathleen Madigan

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"There exists a widespread myth that humans should learn about sex from their parents. My relationship with my father nearly ended when he tried to teach me how to drive. I can't imagine our relationship having survived his instructing me how to have sex." --Bob Smith

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My broker called me this morning and said, "Remember that stock we bought and I said you'd be able to retire at age 65?"

"Yes, I remember," I said.

"Well," my broker continued, "your retirement age is now 108."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Blood may be thicker than water, but baseball beats them both. I learned this after explaining to my two boys that they were half-Lithuanian on their father's side, and half-Yankee, meaning their other set of parents came from an old New England family.

My younger son looked worried. "But we're still a hundred percent Red Sox, right, Mom?"