Monday, March 14, 2016

Good morning crew,

In case you didn't notice, today is Pi Day. That is; March 14th, or 3/14. For those of you who got a C in math, like I did, 3.14 are the first 3 digits of Pi, or the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter.

Not a terribly exciting holiday, but I have heard worse reasons to have a couple beers on a Monday.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Harley-Davidson is recalling more than 100,000 motorcycles because of a problem with the clutch that could cause crashes. As opposed to that other thing that causes crashes: dads in a mid-life crisis who have no business riding a Harley." -Jimmy Fallon

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The all-you-can-eat chain Hometown Buffet has filed for bankruptcy. A spokesperson for the company said, 'Good God, we didn't realize just how much Americans can eat!'" -Conan O'Brien

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"The British tabloid, The Mirror, published a story about a woman who faked her own death to break off a relationship after the man wouldn't leave her alone. Ahh, yes, the old 'It's not you, I'm dead' approach." -Seth Meyers

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A FEW SIMPLE RULES FOR HAPPY LIVING:

Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

Avoid arguments with women about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

For high blood pressure sufferers - simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. You'll be afraid to cough.

You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and it does, use the duct tape.

If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

Daily thought: Some people are like Slinkies...not really good for much but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A young boy was looking through the family album and asked his mother: "Who's this guy on the beach with you with all the muscles and curly hair?"

"That's your father."

"Then who's that old, fat bald man who lives with us now?"