Thursday, August 23, 2012

Good morning crew,

There is a party I need to make an appearance at tonight. Who throws a party on a Thursday night? The kind of person who doesn't have to be out of bed until noon on Friday, that's who.

But, I still feel morally obligated to pop in because, hey, free beer. Plus, the wife will be there and if I don't catch her tonight I won't see her until Saturday and I feel that there should be more to a marriage than passing your spouse coming out of the bathroom before bed.

But don't worry about me partying on a Thursday. After eight hours here at the office and four hours torturing little kids at the school I have the stamina of a 70-year-old hypoglycemic. I estimate a personal limit of three beers.

Fortunately I have the entire weekend to recoup and recover, which I'll be doing a lot of because I don't have any money to do anything else.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Looking for money-savings tips, information helpful to women, and some good-natured fun? If so, take a moment or two and check out the Mommy Blogroll to the right and visit some of the best "Mommy Blogs" online.

***
"NASA has discovered a new galaxy that creates two new stars every day. I?m not sure what the galaxy?s name is, but I think we can rule out 'American Idol.'" -Jimmy Fallon

***
"A woman was smuggling her boyfriend into the United States from Canada. The young woman smuggled the guy in a suitcase. She's a Playboy Playmate. So that got me to thinking that these Playboy Playmates may not be as smart as we think they are." -Dave Letterman

***
"A new study says that women who drink moderate amounts of alcohol every day lose more weight than women that don't drink at all. At least, that's what your wife will slur to you after she forgets to pick up the kids from soccer practice." -Jimmy Kimmel

***
During a heartfelt chat with her friend about relationships, my wife sighed and said, "You know, if something happened to Lloyd, I don't think I could ever marry again."

Her friend nodded sympathetically. "I know what you mean," she said. "Once is enough."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A wife asked her husband, "Honey, could you please run to the store and get a carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get a dozen."

A while later the husband returned with a case of quart milk cartons.

Staring incredulously at the 12-pack case of milk, his wife asked, "Why the hell did you buy so much milk?"

Her husband said, "They had eggs."