Monday, March 5, 2012

Good morning crew,

Wish I had some exciting news for you, but I didn't have much of a weekend. Saturday night I spent helping turn the local high school gymnasium into a martial arts tournament arena, and then all day Sunday I spent quashing the hopes and aspirations of four to twelve-year-olds.

I know I said last week that it is important for little kids to learn what it means to lose, but it is another thing to look into those hopefully, nervous, round little faces and yell, 'loser!'

Okay, it doesn't go quite like that, but it amounts to the same thing. And then sometimes that little bottom lip will start to quiver and that watery glisten will appear in their eyes and I'll feel like a real monster.

Fortunately I got used to it pretty quickly.

I had to. There was a huge turn out. Huge for our little, local division anyway. There were probably five or six hundred little kids and maybe a hundred teens and adults. Enough to drag the event out into a ten hour day.

I didn't even get to see the one really exciting bit. It was during the adult yongmudo sparring (that's kind of like wrestling). One competitor fell on top of another in a really awkward position and either dislocated his shoulder or broke his collarbone. He was taken to the emergency room and everything. Sometimes it happens.

Sometime I'll have to tell you about the time in college I dislocated my clavicle in almost the exact same way.

And that's why now I judge.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"The U.S. beat Italy in soccer for the first time ever. America hasn't embarrassed Italy this badly since the first Olive Garden opened." -Conan O'Brien

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"Police officers say that because of the economy, more thieves are stealing gas from parked cars. Victims said they hadn't felt that robbed since they put the gas INTO their car." -Jimmy Fallon

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"A lot of people make money off of weddings, such as caterers, photographers, and divorce lawyers." -Craig Ferguson

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I decided to grab a burger at a drive-thru. There were no cars in sight, so I rolled up to the pay window. "We're still serving breakfast. And you have to order at the speaker," the clerk scolded.

I drove all the way around the building to the squawk box and ordered a breakfast sandwich. "I'm sorry," she said, "we are now serving lunch."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Our son lived at home all four of his undergraduate years. He moved out only when he went to grad school and got an apartment. The first time my husband and I went to see his new place, Matt greeted us, saying, "I'm glad to finally be the host."

As we walked in the door, my husband whispered to me, "Instead of the parasite."