Monday, January 21, 2013

Good morning crew,

We did make it salsa dancing Saturday night. Either I am more uncoordinated than I thought, or salsa dancing is more difficult than I expected...or maybe we just had lousy instructors, because I couldn't figure any of it out.

It didn't help that we just came from a big dinner, and that I was wearing brand new shoes which were pinching my feet mercilessly, or that we were all the way in the back of the room and couldn't see the dance instructors, but whatever the combination of factors I felt like a real dunce.

The wife was so patient with me. She picked it up pretty quickly and did her best to help me along, but eventually her frustration started to show. We started yelling at each other after we repeatedly missed the same move. She would yell, "Do the turn! No, the other turn!"

And I would yell, "Do the waterfall!"

And she would yell, "That's not the waterfall!"

And I would yell, "I'm going to the bar, do you want anything?"

And then she would yell, "Why are you yelling at me?"

In the end it all turned out for the best, because she found a couple competent partners who were more than eager to twirl her around the dance floor and I got to sit still and look cool, which is what I am good at.

Now she has it in her head to make this a weekly adventure so we can get really good, but I'm not sure I have the natural talent needed to master the waterfall.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Near Antarctica, scientists just discovered some new undersea creatures. I believe this deep sea discovery is yet more evidence of the wonderful bio-diversity in our oceans that we have to clear out if we're going to get at that tasty crude oil." -Craig Ferguson

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"The University of Arizona now offers a degree in hip-hop. Trust me. That's one class where you don't want to cheat off the Asian kid." --Conan O'Brien

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"According to the Center for Science in the Public Interest, the top two most unhealthy restaurant dishes were from The Cheesecake Factory. The Cheesecake Factory? It's always the last place you'd expect." -Jay Leno

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A help desk operator takes a call from a hysterical secretary. It seems she was playing on her boss's brand new business computer and she spilled sticky soda on the "keyboard."

The help desk operator figured, "What the hell. It's only a $10 keyboard" and told her to unplug it, rinse the keys under the tap and leave it somewhere to dry.

The next morning her boss rings the help desk demanding to speak to the manager. This guy really wants the help desk operator's job, he's that upset.

What he wants to know is... "What clown told my secretary to put $2,000 worth of laptop under a tap?"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
At a posh Manhattan dinner party, a Latin American visitor was telling the guests about this home country and himself. As he concluded, he said, "And I have a charming and understanding wife but, alas, no children."

As his listeners appeared to be waiting for him to continue, he said, haltingly, "You see, my wife is unbearable."

Puzzled glances prompted him to try to clarify the matter: "What I mean is, my wife is inconceivable."

As his companions seemed amused, he floundered deeper into the intricacies of the English language, explaining triumphantly, "That is, my wife, she is impregnable!"