Friday, February 26, 2016

Good morning crew,

I'm not sure I can handle teaching little kids anymore. Last night I saw a kid chewing his nails in class. His toe nails.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Researchers say much of Florida could be underwater by the end of the century. On the bright side, they say it could happen much sooner." -Conan O'Brien

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"Starbucks has unveiled a new rewards system. Previously, you needed only 12 rewards 'Stars' to get a free drink; you now need 125. This has made Starbucks customers very angry. I mean, this is all so frustrating. If only there was some way for people to make their own coffee, at home." -James Corden

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"Hasbro announced they are making a new version of Monopoly to appeal to a younger generation. That means it won't come with any cash, so you'll have to borrow some from your parents' Monopoly set." -Jimmy Fallon

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My 10-year-old daughter has decided she is an environmentalist. So she talked me into participating in an aggressive recycling effort with her.

Last week she and I took what proved to be 134 pounds of cardboard boxes to the recycling center and earned $1.34. Counting gas and ice cream, we turned a profit of -$7.85.

We're going to use generally accepted accounting principles and see if we can apply this amount to our taxable income.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A small boy stunned his parents after church one Sunday when he began to empty his pockets of nickels, dimes, and quarters.

Finally his mother asked the obvious question: "Where did you get all that money?"

"At Sunday school," the boy replied enthusiastically. "They got bowls of it!"