Subscribe to CLEAN LAFFS
 
Subscribe to DEAL OF THE DAY
 



Monday, January 30, 2012

Good morning crew,

The temperature is supposed to be in the 40s, even the 50s here in the Chicago area over the next couple of days. For those of you not familiar with the area that is abnormally warm. For January we are usually closer to 0 than 50.

I am no alarmist, but global warming seems less like a theory and more like a reality when I can walk around outside in my shirtsleeves in the middle of winter.

Not being a meteorologist, I can see two likely consequences of this. Either we will be getting blizzards in May when winter finally catches up with us, or we will get getting 100 degree heat waves in May from the inertia. Neither of which I am really looking forward to.

I have things to do this year. I don't have time to turn my apartment into a fortress and hoard food and ammunition for when a weather apocalypse causes the collapse of civilization and we're all driving around a wasteland in improvised tanks like Mad Max.

But if that does happen I call the name Magnifico Giganticus.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Are you on Facebook? If you are, check out the Deal of the Day fan page. You get exclusive offers and a new deal every day. It is easy to become a fan, just click here and hit the like button... 'Like' Deal of the Day Here

***

"Google Plus has introduced a new policy that allows nick-names. Unfortunately, it's a nickname they give you based on your search history." -Conan O'Brien

***

"High gas prices leave a bad taste in people's mouths, have you noticed that? That's mostly from the siphoning, but still it's a horror." -Jay Leno

***

"There's a statistical theory that if you gave a million monkeys typewriters and set them to work, they'd eventually come up with the complete works of Shakespeare. Thanks to the Internet, we now know this isn't true." --Ian Hart

***

Eric is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer. Tom walks in, sits down and asks him what the problem is.

"Well," said Eric, "I ran afoul of one of those awkward questions women ask. Now I'm in deep trouble at home."

"What kind of question?" asked Tom.

"My wife asked me if I would still love her when she gets old, fat and wrinkly."

"That's easy," said Tom. "You just say 'Of course I will'".

"Yeah," said Eric, "That's what I did, except I said 'Of course I DO...'"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

At the Olympics a man walked up to a competitor who was carrying a very long pole.

"Excuse me, are you a pole vaulter?"

"Nein, I am German, but how did you know my name ist Walter?"