Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Good morning crew,

Well, I broke down and did it. I knew I had to eventually, but my propensity toward procrastination has kept me from this commitment until now; I joined a health club.

It has only been nigh on four years since I worked out seriously, so I was not expecting to be completely debilitated by my first workout, and I wasn't. Of course, all I did was swim for a half hour and do a few sets of light weights. I have no illusion that I am going to turn into Arnold Musclehugger over night, so why push it?

It was a little uncomfortable standing there curling my little 25-pound weights while surrounded by bulging muscle heads popping veins and eye-balls as they lifted truck transmissions, but if I don't do it I am going to end up wearing a girdle and I'm just not prepared for that.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A brewery in Oregon is coming out with a new Sriracha-flavored beer. That's right, beer that tastes like hot sauce. They said it's the perfect beverage for finding out if you're an alcoholic: 'There's only one beer left and it has hot sauce in it - just give it to me!'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"This week was Cyber Monday, the biggest day of the year for online shopping. It was started by a bunch of nerds who were beat up on Black Friday: 'I'm not doing that again.' Ah, the safety of home." -Conan O'Brien

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"They say that on Thanksgiving, Americans consume more than twice their average daily calories. It implies we should eat less - or just eat a lot more the rest of the year and it wouldn't be twice as many!" -Jimmy Kimmel

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I had just moved to an address between Sunrise Avenue and Sunset Blvd., one of Sacramento's major streets, and was explaining to a clerk where my home was located for billing purposes. "I live between Sunrise and Sunset," I told her.

"Oh, honey," she knowingly replied, "we all do."

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A grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing "wedding." The wedding vows went like this:

"You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
When I was young I dreamed of being a test pilot. Flying higher, faster, farther. Risking my life for the science of aviation. But when I grew up I found out I wasn't qualified because of my poor eyesight. Now I work in a post office which gives me many of the same thrills.

I'm always pushing the envelope!