Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Good morning crew,

Wow. Tomorrow is May already. The months are really starting to come and go fast, aren't they? But at least today is payday. It is 52 days until the official beginning of summer and only 27 days until Memorial Day. That means I have to seriously start budgeting for a vacation.

I promised the wife we would do something special for our one year anniversary, and so far I have been blowing all of my extra cash on beer and casinos. If I am going to pull off a 4-day weekender somewhere I am going to have to come up with some serious doe-ray-me, and soon. And that is not going to happen with a mortgage soaking up every other check.

Hey, I have an idea! I'll take all of my spending cash to the local casino this weekend. I lost in Las Vegas. It must mean I'm due!

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A new study found out that having money and good looks does not make you happy. On the other hand, being broke and ugly is no day at the beach either." -Jay Leno

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"The miniseries 'The Bible' was a big hit. Now it's being cut down to three hours so that it can be released in theaters. And apparently theaters will be able to feed an entire audience with just one bucket of popcorn." -Jimmy Fallon

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"They say that when you have a baby, you lose 700 hours of sleep in the first year, but it's worth it when they're old enough to do the yard work." -Craig Ferguson

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When the famous politician and orator William Jennings Bryan (1860-1925) was a young man, he went to the home of the father of his prospective wife to ask him for her hand in marriage. Bryan was determined to impress the father by quoting from the Bible, and he chose Proverbs 18:22: "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD."

Bryan was unnerved when the father replied by quoting Paul: "So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better." (1 Corinthians 7:38)

Bryan, never at a loss for words, said: "Yes, but Paul had no wife and Solomon had 700. Therefore, I believe Solomon ought to be the better judge as to marriage."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
At the beginning of the school year, one seventh grader was reflecting on his chance at being the 8th grade valedictorian. He said his dad was valedictorian, his mom was valedictorian, and his sister was also valedictorian. He paused, leaned back in his chair and said, "Looks like the end of an era!"