Monday, January 19, 2015

Good morning crew,

Hey! I can breathe! Mostly. Which is a dramatic improvement over last week. I guess it helped that I spent most of the weekend either in bed or wrapped up in blankets on the sofa drinking tea.

The only exception was a small dinner party the wife had planned to host Saturday night. The thoughtful sweetheart; she even asked me if I wanted her to cancel it.

I asked her if she was expecting any work out of me in preparation for this little shindig. She said no.

So I said, "Party on."

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A dog in Seattle is making news after commuters noticed it had been riding the bus to a local park all by itself. Everyone says the dog is amazing, while the dog said, panicking, 'I gotta find that blind guy. I'm in a lot of trouble if I don't find him." -Jimmy Fallon

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"A study showed that every hour of TV you watch after the age of 25 shortens your life by 22 minutes. That doesn't sound too bad to me. You'd probably watch TV with that 22 minutes anyway." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"Police are looking for a woman who stole $3,000 worth of cat-grooming supplies at an airport baggage carousel. Police describe the suspect as 'single.'" -Seth Meyers

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Finishing up our work at a trade show in San Diego, my co-worker Maureen and I decided to go sightseeing across the border in Tijuana, Mexico. While there, we went shopping and bought a few pieces of clay kitchenware.

As we crossed back into the United States, a customs official asked if we had anything of value to report.

"Not really," Maureen replied, digging in her bag for the bean crock she had purchased. Everyone around us froze as she continued, "I only bought a little pot."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
[A reader, inspired by last week's metric conversions, sent in the following list. Thanks to Michelle S.]

Metric Conversion Chart

10**12 Microphones = 1 Megaphone
10 cards = 1 decacards
10 rations = 1 decoration
10 millipedes = 1 centipede
8 nickles = 2 paradigms
2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
3 1/3 tridents = 1 decadent
10 monologs = 5 dialogues
2 monograms = 1 diagram
2 snake eyes = 1 paradise