Monday, December 28, 2015

Good morning crew,

I just read a story about Wilson Watson. He is a retired English professor who has spent the last couple decades collecting the most hilarious and often depressing spelling, grammatical and contextual errors his students have made in their papers.

I have reprinted a few of the more bizarre examples for you below. You might find them entertaining. Reading these bloopers really highlights the careless responsibility of our educational system, and I know it shouldn't, but knowing there are people out there who actually think this is English really helps my own self-a-steam.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"People who murder a lot of people are called masked murderers."

"The person was an innocent by standard, who just happened to be the victim of your friend's careless responsibility."

"Another effect of smoking is it may give you cancer of the thought."

"The children of lesbian couples receive as much neutering as those of other couples."

"Benjamin Franklin discovered America while fling a kite."

"Keith helps me to have good self-a-steam."

"For example, one homeless person lives under a bride in Lanham, Md."

"Jogging on a woman's ovaries can be dangerous to her health."

"The French benefits of this job are good."

***
DRAWBACKS OF WORKING IN A CUBICLE
[Or, "Welcome to my life."]

* Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first seeing who's behind you.

* Fabric walls offer little protection from gunfire.

* The walls are too close together for the hammock to work right.

* Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds.

* When you quit and walk out, there's no door to slam.

* Being told to "think outside the box" when you're in a freakin' box all day long.

* 23 power cords - 1 outlet.

* The carpet has been there since 1976 (or older) and shows more signs of life than your coworkers.

* If you talk to yourself it causes all the surrounding cubicle inhabitants to pop their heads over the wall and say, "What? I didn't hear you."

* You always have the feeling that someone is watching you, but by the time you turn to look they're gone.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
We had just finished eating a beautiful dinner that my mother had prepared for our family. As I glanced up at the chandelier over the table, I was mesmerized by the creative handiwork a spider had woven around the prisms and light bulbs. "Don't look up there!" my mother screamed. "It's the one thing I was too tired to clean!"

"Don't look where?" my brother asked.

"There!" my mother pointed. "It's my own personal web sight!"