Thursday, October 7, 2010
Good morning crew,
Wow. Thursday and I haven't accomplished anything this week.
Some people would call me lazy, but I like to think of my-
self as industriously available. I think I need to buy a
house just so I have a lawn to keep me preoccupied.
Laugh it up,
Joe
mailto:joe@gophercentral.com
P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters
from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in
between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at
the bottom of the page!
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"That night is the most romantic we guys get. I remember
when I asked my wife to marry me, I got down on my knee and
I was shaking a little stick and I went, 'Ooops, that's not
the color we're looking for, is it, Honey?' I get teary-eyed
just thinking about it." --Jack Coen
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"If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's
twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-
six, she's damn near forty." --Chris Rock
***
"My mother wanted me to go to church to meet women. That's
wrong, ain't it? 'Praise the Lord! Hey, how ya doing? Nice
dress. Look, I'm going to go over there and get some of
this wine and crackers, want some?'" --Warren Hutcherson
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I used to work in an art supply store. We sold artists'
canvas by the yard, and you could get it in either of two
widths: 36 inches or 48 inches.
Customer: "Can you please cut some canvas for me?"
Me: "Certainly, what width?"
Customer: (confused and slightly annoyed) "Scissors?"
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
A crab and a lobster are secretly dating. Pretty soon, the
lobster tires of the lying and tells her father, who then
forbids her to see the crab anymore.
"It'll never work, honey." he says to her. "Crabs walk side-
ways and we walk straight."
"Please," she begs her father. "Just meet him once. I know
you'll like him."
Her father finally relents and agrees to a one-time meeting,
and she runs off to share the good news with her crab sweetie.
The crab is so excited he decides to surprise his beloved's
family. He practices and practices until he can finally walk
straight!
On the BIG day, he walks the entire way to the lobster's
house as straight as he can.
Standing on the porch, and seeing the crab walking towards
him, the lobster dad yells to his daughter.....
"I knew it! Here comes that crab and he's drunk!"
____________________________________________________________
WHAT DID THE BUDDHIST SAY TO THE HOTDOG VENDOR?
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