Thursday, August 1, 2013

Good morning crew,

Looks like I am going to be a bachelor again this weekend. The wife took a pet sitting job in exchange for a paper lunch sack stuffed full of cash. So she will be spending the next four nights staying at this pet-owner's house.

I will be spending the next four nights drinking beer, eating pizza and watching TV in my underwear. Hey, I never said being a bachelor again was going to be a good thing.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. EVTV1 is back and better than ever! This video portal was created to weed through the online clutter to bring you the best animal video clips...funniest videos...most popular...PLUS the most unusual. New videos are added daily!

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"The inventor of the world's first artificial test-tube hamburger said that 'It looks, feels, and hopefully tastes like meat.' He was immediately sued by Arby's for stealing their slogan." -Conan O'Brien

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"I think we look back at times past with fondness because we were younger. Life had not yet begun pecking away at our innocence like buzzards on fresh road kill." -Craig Ferguson

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"A woman in Britain said that her pet goldfish survived for seven hours in the open air outside of his tank, which is a world record ? for goldfish torture. In the fish world, that's known as 'airboarding.'" -Jimmy Fallon

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The father of a teenage daughter was concerned with the amount of time she spent on the telephone; not so much for the time she wasted (he had given up on that long ago), but because nobody else could use the phone.

So, as a happy solution, he had a telephone installed for her with her own private number and directory listing.

Two or three days after her telephone had been installed, he came home to find her stretched out on the floor with her feet on the living room couch and chatting away on the family telephone. Her own telephone was resting silently on her dresser. "Why are you using our telephone," he yelled. "Why aren't you talking on your own telephone?"

"I can't," she said, "I'm expecting an important call on my phone."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Out in space two alien forms are speaking with each other.

The first spaceman says, "The dominant life forms on the earth planet have developed satellite-based weapons."

The second alien, who looks exactly like the first, asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"

The first spaceman says, "I don't think so...They have them aimed at themselves."