Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Good morning crew,

You wouldn't believe my luck. Last week, when I went to the bank to cash my paycheck, I noticed they had Eisenhower dollar coins. Now, you don't see these very often, so I bought a roll because I thought it would be fun to buy a few drinks and tip bartenders with them.

Now, I know enough about coins to know that the last year the United States minted a silver dollar (that is 90 percent silver and 10 percent copper) was 1935. These Eisenhowers were 1971 and 1972.

What I did not know is that the U.S. Mint issued some special editions of the Eisenhower dollars in 1971 through 1974 that are 40 percent silver.

Ignorant of this notable exception I spent Thursday, Friday and Saturday of last week casually distributing these coins to whoever I thought would get a kick out of them (mostly cute bartenders or waitresses).

It was Sunday afternoon, while the wife and I were having a Cinco de Mayo margarita or two with my brother Nino and his wife, that I pulled out my very last Eisenhower and showed it to Nino.

After a brief examination he mentioned that it might be one of the 40 percent silver dollars. Filled with dread I took the coin home and looked it up and sure enough, it was silver.

40 percent silver would make each one of those coins worth about $6. Now the silver Eisenhowers are kind of rare, and this solitary example could have just slipped into a roll of common dollars...but...if by some freak I had actually got my hands on an entire roll of silver Eisenhowers, that would mean that I had been buying beers all week for about $18 a beer.

I almost cannot even bear to imagine it.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A woman in Florida crashed her car into a Target store. But in her defense, the store did have a giant target on it." -Jimmy Fallon

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"Health experts have named Mississippi the fattest state in the Union. The state bird of Mississippi? The fried chicken." -Jay Leno

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"A study showed that every hour of TV you watch after the age of 25 shortens your life by 22 minutes. That doesn't sound too bad to me. You'd probably watch TV with that 22 minutes anyway." -Jimmy Kimmel

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[I know this list is supposed to be humorous...but some of these tips make a lot of sense to me.]

Helpful Tips to Make Life Simple

* Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know.

* Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the curb.

* Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast wipe whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

* No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.

* Apply red nail polish to your nails before clipping them. The red nails will be much easier to spot on your bathroom carpet. (Unless you have a red carpet, in which case a contrasting polish should be selected).

* If a person is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down their throat and presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.

* Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whiskey. The following morning you can create the effects of hangover by drinking a thimble full of dish washing liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, "When did you bag him?"

The host said proudly, "That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife."

"What's he stuffed with," asked the visiting hunter.

"My ex-wife." replied the hunter.