Monday, May 18, 2015

Good morning crew,

I'm still not sure how I did it, but somehow I managed to pull off a (mostly) successful barbecue on Saturday. It was a near thing, because as of Friday night the local weather was forecasting a 50 percent chance of thunderstorms for Saturday. I was seriously considering calling everybody that night and cancelling, but at the last minute I decided to gamble.

And, of course, it started raining early Saturday morning. But, with a little bit of prayer, a lot of hoping and pleading, and maybe a few curses and threats, the weather started to clear up around noon, and by the time people were supposed to start showing up at 4 it was sunny and 82 degrees.

How's that for luck?

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known." --Garrison Keillor

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"I love those signs along the highway that say, 'Litter Removal Next 2 Miles.' That's when I start chucking my trash out the window." --Scott Wood

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"I have a detached retina. Actually, it's not detached. It's more emotionally unavailable." --Nick Arnette

***
Fresh from a visit to the dentist, I decided to stop at my bank. Barely able to enunciate, I told the teller, "I'm sorry about not speaking more clearly. I've had Novocaine."

"You should have used the drive-through," she said.

"Why?"

"Everyone who goes through sounds like you," she explained.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A young college girl came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" she cried.

"I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad.

"You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble."

"What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the world," he said. "Surely there must be some mistake."

"I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."