Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Good morning crew,

Have you guys ever done this? I was driving back from the school the other night at about 7:30 and feeling particularly parched. So I decided to stop into the grocery store to pick up a bottle of Gatorade.

As I was walking to the aisle with sodas and drinks I passed by the produce department and thought to myself, 'I could use some fruit.' So I picked up a few apples and bananas.

Since I was thinking about eating, I realized that I was about to run out of toothpaste. That reminded me that I wanted to get a bottle of hydrogen peroxide, and oh, look, creamed corn is on sale!

By the time I left the store I had about $60 worth of merchandice, including a bag of potting soil, and I had completely forgotten to get my Gatorade.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A new survey found that the average American child watches 24 hours of TV every week. In fact, experts say it's important for parents to lay down the law and tell their kids to get outside and look at their phones." --Jimmy Fallon

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"Today is National Grammar Day. So no matter whom you are, or where you're at, it's literally party time, y'all." -Seth Meyers

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"Here's some strange fashion news. According to The New York Times, the monocle is back in style. Unless you're a Batman villain or a giant salted peanut, you should not wear a monocle." -Jimmy Kimmel

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With some misgivings, we left a young baby-sitter in charge of our three energetic youngsters. When we returned a few, hours later, she was sitting alone watching TV. I went to check on the children, and found them in our narrow hallway.

By bracing their arms and legs against the walls, two of them had climbed up to the ceiling. "The baby-sitter taught us how," they said gleefully.

The sitter joined me, her face a deep red. "Since they had me climbing the walls, I figured they might as well be too," she stammered.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
My uncle was giving me the grand tour of his house. The bathrooms had excessively mirrored walls but his wife preferred not to look at herself in such a compromising position. She even went so far as to place a "modesty plant" so that it obscured the view.

Now I don't think there is anything wrong with mirrored walls in the bathroom. I told my uncle: "You should be able to sit and reflect"