Monday, February 29, 2016

Good morning crew,

Happy Leap Day, everybody! Is it just me, or does it feel like today should be a holiday? I mean, it only happens once every four years. Why should we be punished with an extra day of work just because sixteenth century Catholics couldn't measure the Earth's rotation very well?

I guess we could also fix this little problem by simply making every minute about 62 seconds long, but I think a an extra holiday every four years would involve a lot less extra work.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

***
"It was a big day for Donald Trump yesterday, the Nevada caucuses took place. Voting in the state of Nevada is a little different. In Nevada you pull the lever first and then you find out who you voted for. It is more exciting." -Jimmy Kimmel

***
"The University of Texas has decided to allow students to carry guns in the classroom. The school says it's a guaranteed way to prevent the possibility of a pop quiz." -Seth Meyers

***
"Whole Foods is looking into the idea of putting tattoo parlors in their grocery stores. Even so, the people walking out of Whole Foods with the biggest sense of regret will still be whoever just paid $8 for an apple." -Jimmy Fallon

***
A man goes to the doctor with a swollen foot. After a careful examination, the doctor gives the man a pill big enough to choke a horse.

"I'll be right back with some water," the doctor tells him.

The doctor has been gone a while and the man loses patience. He hobbles out to the drinking fountain, forces the pill down his throat and gobbles down water until the pill clears his throat. He hobbles back into the examining room.

Just then the doctor comes back with a bucket of warm water. "Ok, after the tablet dissolves, soak that foot for about 20 minutes."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Longtime friends were celebrating their 50th anniversary. One of their sons gave a loving toast, finishing with, "and thank you for having such a beautiful marriage."

"Thank you for making it necessary," the father joked.

In the silence that followed, his wife whispered, "Not him. He's the second son."