Thursday, February 24, 2011
Good morning crew,
Guess who got their tax refund? That's the advantage of
filing electronically, I don't have to wait four to six
weeks for my check.
It's not much; about a thousand bucks, but if you're
getting a lot of money back in your tax return that means
you don't have the right number of withholdings on your
W-4. There is no reason to let the G keep any more of your
money than necessary.
Anyway...now I get to sit down and strategize how I'm going
to spend the loot. I could make a mortgage payment. Boring,
but responsible. I could put it toward paying off the truck.
Even more boring, but even more responsible.
Or I could let the girlfriend talk me into taking her to
the casino. Sure, I could blow it all, or I could walk out
of there with TWO thousand dollars. Then who would be the
sucker?
There is one other option I was thinking about. The Dunhill
Vacation newsletter I am subscribed to has an incredible
deal on a beach getaway in Mexico.
Lying on a beach, drinking beverages with lots of rum in
them, not shoveling snow! $89+/nt Oceanview Suite @ Luxe
All-Inclusive Riviera Maya
That just might beat out eight hours in a casino and it
would probably end up costing just about the same!
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Laugh it up,
Joe
mailto:joe@gophercentral.com
P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters
from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in
between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at
the bottom of the page!
***
Take a mini break... make that a video break with The Temptations.
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***
"I spent Presidents Day acting like a president. I took
someone else's money and spent it on something I don't
need." -Jay Leno
***
"Queen Elizabeth posted an ad online for an assistant in the
Buckingham Palace washroom. Apparently, that's where the
queen started before she worked her way up." -Conan O'Brien
***
"A new study found that kids who work more than 20 hours a
week at a job are more likely to get bad grades. On the
other hand, China." -Jimmy Fallon
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When the icemaker in our new refrigerator broke, my husband
dropped by the store to arrange for repairs. Because the
sun was bright, my husband's eyes hadn't adjusted to the
dim light inside in time to see a woman sitting on the floor
examining carpet samples.
He stepped on her leg and she screamed, causing him to jump
into a display of fireplace tools that went crashing in
every direction. Unnerved, my husband stumbled over to
the service desk, and as he went to rest his hands on the
counter, he flipped over a bowl full of little mints,
scattering them everywhere.
After taking a deep breath to calm himself, he announced to
the wide-eyed woman working there, "My refrigerator doesn't
work."
"I don't doubt it," she replied.
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
Irving goes into a restaurant and orders potato latkes. When
they come, he complains that they do not look good and he
changes his order to blintzes. After he eats the blintzes,
he stands up and starts to leave the restaurant.
"Wait a second," the manager shouts after him. "You have not
paid for your blintzes."
"What are you talking about?" Irving says. "Those blintzes
were an even exchange. I gave you the potato latkes for them."
"Yes," says the manager, "but you did not pay for the latkes
either."
"Why should I pay for them?" asks Irving. "I didn't eat them."
____________________________________________________________
WHAT DID THE BUDDHIST SAY TO THE HOTDOG VENDOR?
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