Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Good morning crew,

In between home inspections and other responsibilities this weekend the wife and I did find a few spare hours to visit the Taste of Orland Park, a small, little community fest out here in the burbs.

It's nothing terribly exciting; a dozen local restaurants, a few beer tents, a car show, and a couple of stages for music and entertainment, but the food is usually pretty good and they always have a decent band on the main stage.

Since it was a fine, warm, sunny day I was wearing my sunglasses plus a big, straw cowboy hat to keep the sun out of my eyes. I was also taking advantage of being in the wide open air to indulge in a dirty, little vice of mine, I was puffing on a fat, Elvish cigar.

So there I was, decked out like some sort of suburban bon vivant, sitting at a picnic table and listening to the music, when I saw one of the little kids from the martial arts school walking along with his mother.

In hindsight maybe I shouldn't have said anything, but I was feeling gregarious, so when they passed by I jumped up and accosted them.

I can just picture it from the little guy's perspective; he is walking along in perfect contentment, enjoying a day out in the safety of his mother's presence, when suddenly a crazy person disguised as bizarro cowboy and wreathed in smoke sticks his face in front of him and shouts, "Hey there, little guy! Recognize me?"

He started crying immediately.

Even when I took my hat and sunglasses off and explained who I was he still refused to come out from behind his mother's legs.

So, I have traumatize, maybe permanently, yet another little kid. I'm starting to think I might be doing something wrong.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"According to a new study, one in four Americans admits to not exercising at all. As a result, one in four Americans is actually TWO in four Americans." -Seth Meyers

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"Home Depot is now selling 3D printers, which customers can use to print out tools and parts. It's all part of Home Depot's plan to immediately go out of business." -Jimmy Fallon

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"It's a great day for Pope Francis. He released his top 10 tips for feeling happier. Most of the Pope's tips were what I expected, like No. 7, 'Respect nature.' No. 3, 'Be calm.' Except No. 1 - start every day by watching the video of Justin Bieber getting punched in face." -Craig Ferguson

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My husband retired, and for the first time in over 40 years I had to think about preparing midday meals.

Tired of it after several months, I said, "I married you for better or worse, but not for lunch."

"Fair enough. From now on I'll make my own," he replied.

A few weeks later he had to go downtown on business and invited me to join him afterwards.

"We could have lunch at that Chinese place we both like," he suggested.

I happily agreed. At the restaurant the next day we were seated, and the waiter came to take our order.

My husband looked up and with a straight face said, "Separate checks, please."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
An English professor announced to the class; "There are two words I don't allow in my class. One is gross and the other is cool."

From the back of the room a voice called out, "Yeah? So, what are the words?"