Friday, October 3, 2014

Good morning crew,

If being a homeowner has done anything, it has made me more ambitious. I already have plans to build a workbench in the garage and take down a dead tree on the side of the house by myself.

The only problem is I don't have a drill, I don't have a saw, I don't have a ladder, I don't have a tape measure, a square, a level, or even any skill or experience.

What I do have is the next 30 years to figure it out.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"President Obama addressed the U.N. today. It's quite a responsibility for the president to address the U.N. Yesterday he spoke on climate change. Today he spoke on terrorism. And tomorrow he talks about how to buy real estate with no money down." -Dave Letterman

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"Political reporters are complaining that the White House has been asking them to edit some of their stories to make the president look better. The White House said that's not true, and those reporters should please change what they said." -Jimmy Fallon

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"Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps was arrested early this morning for drunk driving. Police say Phelps aggravated the situation when they tried to give him a breathalyzer and he held his breath for six minutes." -Seth Meyers

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Early in their marriage, my Dad did something really stupid. My Mom chewed him out for it. He apologized, they made up.

However, from time to time, my mom mentions what he had done. "Honey," my Dad finally said one day, "why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was 'forgive and forget.'"

"It is," she said. "I just don't want you to forget that I've forgiven and forgotten."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Working for a pediatrician calls for stifling a chuckle from time to time. When a frantic mother phoned to tell us her baby had a high temperature of 102, we had to know whether she was taking the reading under the arm, in the mouth or elsewhere.

So we asked, "How are you taking it?"

Her reply, "Oh, I'm holding up pretty well!"