Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Good morning crew,

We have a major thunderstorm blowing through our area tonight with wind gusts forecast up to 50-60 mph. The entire metropolitan and surrounding areas have been girding up and battening down.

Of course, old Mason and I used to sail in this kind of weather, so I'm not too worried about it.

Still, it's times like these when I'm glad I bought a brick house. But if my brand new, $7,000 roof gets torn off the rafters tonight I am NOT going to be happy.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"For the first time ever, more than half of all senior citizens in the U.S. are using the Internet. Yeah, I read that when my grandma sent the entire story to me in the subject line of an email." -Jimmy Fallon

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"A teenager in Arkansas was arrested after he was caught driving without a license on his way to the DMV to take a driving test, tried to flee, and crashed into a police car. On the plus side, it sounds like he was probably going to fail anyway." -Seth Meyers

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"Today two men dressed as Batman and Captain America tried to rob someone at a gas station. They're being charged with attempted robbery and mixing Marvel with DC." -Conan O'Brien

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When the U.S. Mint reissued two-dollar bills, I thought they might someday become collectors' items. I went to the bank and picked up a hundred, serially numbered and still in their original band. On my next trip to my parents' house, I gave the $200 to my mother and said, "Take good care of these. They might be worth something someday."

Several months later I asked Mom if she was keeping the two dollar bills safe. "Oh, yes!" she replied. "I deposited them in the bank the day after you left."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Before my daughter went on her first date, I gave her "the talk."

"Sometimes, it's easy to get carried away when you are with a boy," I said. "Remember, a short moment of indiscretion could ruin your life."

"Don't worry," she said. "I don't plan on ruining my life until I get married."