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Friday, December 11, 2015

Good morning crew,

The wife has some Christmas decorating planned for this weekend. Originally she wanted to make a trip to the decorating warehouse to supplement our current supply of twinkle lights and lawn decorations, but with a new furnace in our very near future even a couple hundred bucks is a big expense.

The one thing I think we will indulge in is a live tree. It's not all that expensive and it really does give the house a holiday atmosphere. Plus, if we still haven't replaced the furnace come January we can burn it for heat.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"United Airlines announced they are bringing back free snacks for the first time since 2008. Unfortunately, the snacks are also from 2008." -Conan O'Brien

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"Russia is planning to build a base on the moon where astronauts will live permanently. When asked if they really wanted to spend the rest of their lives in a barren, lifeless landscape, the Russians said, 'No, that's why we want to go to the moon.'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"A California man miraculously escaped unharmed when he went through two compaction cycles in a garbage truck after sleeping in a trash can. When asked how he's doing, he said, 'Not that great. I sleep in a trash can.'" -Seth Meyers

***

A businessman had a tiring day on the road. He checked into a hotel and, because he was concerned that the dining room might close soon, left his luggage at the front desk and went immediately to eat.

After a leisurely dinner, he reclaimed his luggage and realized that he had forgotten his room number. He went back to the desk and told the clerk on duty, "My name is Henry Davis, can you please tell me what room I am in?"

"Certainly," said the clerk. "You're in the lobby."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

SOMETIMES...

Sometimes...
when you cry,
no one sees your tears.

Sometimes...
when you are in pain,
no one sees your hurt.

Sometimes...
when you are worried,
no one sees your stress.

Sometimes...
when you are happy,
no one sees your smile.

But fart just ONE TIME!